BEAUTY IN BROKENNESS

When one door of happiness closes, another opens (Helen Keller)

It’s a tough decision, to choose whether IFC – World Bank and Fitted for Work. After completing core courses at my Melbourne Business School, we learned over and over the importance of making good decision. How we shouldn’t “trapped” in decision-making traps. I’m never good at it until this article is written.

However, I remember Jan Cochrane-Harry, director of strategic marketing MBS, once said at our WAM marketing speaker forum that her advice was “know what you want, follow your gut, be an initiator for change and make time for yourself”. So despite the strong encouragement to accept World Bank offer (Jakarta based), I chose the other way around.

You know what? That’s one of best decisions I’ve ever made. I never regret it. Finally, I’m able to make a good decision in my life.

Fitted for Work (FFW; www.fittedforwork.org) Melbourne, was founded by volunteers in July 2005, is a unique adaptation of a number of overseas models to provide disadvantaged unemployed women with a free service that delivers professional and individualized:

• Business Clothing and Accessories through its ‘Boutique’
• Presentation & Interview Skills
• A range of Client Support Programs

Women accessing the services are referred by Job Network Providers (JNPs) who see FFW as a complimentary extension of their services in helping disadvantaged unemployed women

• Gain Employment
• Financial Independence
• Transform their lives

My first day, I entered their Boutique to get the feel. I saw this tall, naturally beautiful young lady with long black hair; waiting at reception with her jeans. She looked ordinary. Then I came 15 minutes later, that young woman used an elegant maroon suit. She looked so different, different good and prettier. I guessed, we (there were four of us at the room) were all amazed with the transformation.

Then the young lady looked herself at the mirror, it’s just a magical moment. I saw a smile in her face and suddenly I felt that something in my heart had been touched in a way I couldn’t explain. I had a lump in my throat. I talked to her, give some additional fashion comment (with my basic knowledge). She looked so happy and clearly she felt good. She kept looking at the mirror, and you can see the smile is still on and the sparkling eyes as she amazed herself to look so pretty and elegant. The good look gave her instant confidence and dignity. I think, to see that transformation is magnificent. It’s from zero to hero. There are many beauties in brokenness out there in modern society. True beauty that’s ready to be discovered, hidden by series of difficult circumstances.

My role is as research analyst and business strategist. My internship project is doing feasibility study including organizational analysis for Fitted for Work going social enterprise and to be able to expand them nationally. Business models I should analyze are Recycled Clothing Store and Virtual Online Gift model. I read book “The end of charity: Time for Social Enterprise” by Nic Frances; former CEO of Brotherhood of St Laurence (BSL) and hundreds of articles to support the project.

The challenge is to build comprehensive analysis by fragmented information. I’m surprised how little information I can get about social enterprise at Australia in particular. It’s tricky to get the right information. We should know how, where and whom to be able to provide proper recommendation. So creativity, smart-street, interpersonal, independence, genuine interest toward community project and initiative is set of skills that highly appreciated. Most not-for-profit organization were built by good intention yet done with ad hoc and volunteer based. But as the organization and number of volunteers are growing, it’s impossible to retain the natural organization structure.

Yet it’s exciting and remarkably experience as I do think that working at not-for-profit sector enable us to work with range of diverse group of people. I met many people with affluent background that have strong community commitment. It’s even better as MBS Career Center provide us with mentorship program by PwC. My mentor is Brendon Cutt, Director of Personal Improvement.

I have honors working with Karen with her motherly warm-hearted character and extensive experience at not-for-profit organization (board members of Y.E.A.H = Youth Empowerment Against HIV/AIDS and pretty like model - Ali, CEO of Y.E.A.H, recently invited to New York by United Nation to participate at international forum about HIV/AIDS. They are fun, pretty, smart and mostly surprising are having strong community sense.

There are too many “beauties” wasted due to lack of self-esteem, feeling incapable to walk the life and feeling ugly inside for whatever root causes. They shouldn’t. I believe everyone has its function to fill gaps in the worlds. Unfortunately, women; despite their capability; have been years put in disadvantaged position even in advanced countries.

I’m gracefully thanked both MBS Career Center and EMBA class of 2007 to provide the opportunity to me. A flash in my memory, what I wrote at my personal essay to go to MBS, “what would you do post your MBA?”, I wrote to be able to establish HOPE for LIFE foundation to address women and children needs. I guess that it’s all about. How this internship fitted into my aspiration, to provide hope for women out there seeking way back to work force, to regain their life and independence. To free themselves from unnecessary fears and doubts. I would note this internship as one unforgettable experience at my MBA journey.

copyright@ingridak

Seasons in Motherhood

Melbourne, 8^th June 2008

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” – Helen Keller -

Today I was tired, physically and emotionally. I was feeling days not sleep. Here comes the reality of what so called motherhood in B-School. It’s not a right timing. It’s too much farewell in last couple weeks.

The seasons toward my MBA journey

Today, one month ago I waved good bye to my youngest son, the “bright angel” with his heart-melting eyes, Joel Ingelbert. I flew back to Melbourne with broken heart and swollen eyes due to much crying in the plane. Although it’s temporary, never good at handling farewell (temporary / permanent), my insomnia entail for 2 weeks; waking-up in middle night to miss my Joel. Though it’s getting better, I realized I would never overcome this feeling.

It’s hard to say good bye, welcoming winter; season of cold. My warm girl classmate leaving for 2.5 months, recent quit Jensen’s Korean nanny, added to my “farewell database”. I think it supposed to make me stronger, yet my growth seems stagnant in this area.

B-School dreams, spring; season of hope. Pursuing my higher degree is like fulfilling a hidden desire that I had ever since James pursued his master degree at UNSW. However, I was pregnant then, gave birth and raised my first son in a foreign country without any helping hand so that studying was not my priority. I was impressed with UNSW campus and services. The campus was convenient, modern, near to beachside suburbs, hospital and CBD. I began to imagine that some day I will walk on the university walk and study on the green grass library lawn as a student. I called Sydney my second hometown with its magnificent harbors and sun-kissed beaches

An article from Vogue Australia business edition August 2002 illustrated the profiles of four businesswomen: DI Jones, Bobbi Mahlab, Natalie Bloom, and Amanda Stevens. I really wanted to join them being a successful woman who has the guts to do something different despite of their challenging circumstances. In “Degrees of Separation: For aspiring women pursuing the top, the MBA is the icing on the cake, says Susan Owens” it is stated that AGSM, one of B-School at Australia, turned 25 years old in 2002 and ranked number 13 on its list of the 100 top MBA programs worldwide by London’s Financial Times. It featured many benefits being MBA graduates, and I thought “This is what I want” after reading the article. I kept the magazine with me to Indonesia, reading it many times, to remind me to fulfill my goal.

Pursuing scholarship, summer; season of blooming. Literally and implicitly; When I decided to apply for Sampoerna Foundation Overseas MBA scholarship in my fifth month of pregnancy, I knew I would be eight months pregnant when the selection process was conducted. But looking at my first son, my second son-to-be in my growing tummy, and people who trusted me; they all gave me the strength and courage to do it. I don’t want my kids see me quitting on my dreams just because of some obstacles. Instead I want them to see me as a fighter. I realize that I may not be around forever for them, but the good values and my spirit will give them a reason to stand firm in what they believe as long as it is good and positive. Unfortunately I failed to evaluate that it may give my motherhood on stake and challenging position. It’s a trade-offs that I should know in advance.

Melbourne, most livable city in the world, autumn; season of falling. Despite my eternal love to Sydney, I decided to study at Melbourne Business School. Series of biggest failures: personal growth, relationship, and my learning curve happened to me all of sudden. I experienced numbs of feelings, hardest hit at my beliefs and values, resulting in fluctuation fears, doubts and negative feelings.

I never have so many questions. My former life was not perfect, yet I’m content with my blessed angels, Jensen and Joel. Life, at times, becomes unbearably sad when to talk a great deal is not helpful; to pray and to hope is difficult. Silence, which causes us to be in awe of the action of God within us, remains. And it will continue to stay according to the degree of our faith and trust in God who knows well what each of us needs.

Back to today, winter: season of cold. I’ve never been feeling so mean, self-centered and unreasonable. Today, I realized how winter at Melbourne probably shares me its coldness. There was no warmth left in my motherhood. My patience was tested in motherhood and clearly I failed the test. Jensen was just being 5 years old. He was just being kid. The deepest sorrow can cause a sense of abandonment, or feelings of gloomy aloneness and of absolute darkness. We forget our true-self. Again, I was feeling imbalance.

Then, perseverance to teach independency to Jensen became knife with two-sharp sided to me. I kept encouraging him to sleep at other room, not bed-sharing as I used to be doing with my kids. Jensen obeyed though I accompanied him till he’s asleep. And then, my mixed feelings become so unbearable but it astonished me. I realized how I missed him and he’s grown up. Suddenly, I’m happier that despite the turbulence seasons, my motherhood is still the only strength I can count on. It’s my true-self.

I’m sober that I’m in control for my feelings. Leaves can be falling, weather can be unbearably cold, the “just now” betrayal in trust can hurt us so badly, the “doubt” can drive us crazy, the “fears” can haunt us; yet there is of hope for certainty of victory.

Today, as its winter both in Melbourne and my personal life reality; suddenly gave me hint of spring, season of hope. It’s a circular seasons of life, in motherhood and in any life circumstances. Thanks God, I’m looking forward for spring in life, the next season after winter.

The person in great sorrow can nevertheless consolidate the gift of faith, well knowing where to turn for help and regain its strength.

Jensen and Joel, mum is mere human. Pursuit to perfection is good, but if you both read this essay; written by me, I hope you can take the essence that THANKS GOD, WE ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKE. AND THANKS GOD, spring is waiting after winter cold nights. NOTHING beats my love to you. YOU HAVE ALL OF MY REASONS DESPITE MY IMPERFECTNESS (which I’m not proud of). It is the moment to take courage into our hands so that we can live with greater awareness. To keep our face toward our failures, and learned from it; it’s still the key of enjoying life with freedom

copyright@JISuciadi

Mawar Sharon Christian School - when children bring us real joy

"When you welcome even a child because of Me, you welcome Me." Mark 9:37

This album is dedicated : Miss Rini, Miss Lia, Miss Esther and all sisters at Mawar Sharon Christian School. And also to Steve Andres – British Columbia (Canada). I miss you all.. miss our sharing and fellowship time.

Recently I just felt imbalance. Everything went wrong. A severe disruption happened. My beliefs were shaken, and I’m questioning my values. I’ve never experience this feeling after I have family. I’m always content with my life. Life, at times, becomes unbearably sad when to talk a great deal is not helpful; to pray and to hope is difficult. Silence, which causes, us to be in awe of the action of God within us, remains.Just a seed of faith leftover; my sisters of Christ from Mawar Sharon Christian School – Surabaya- Indonesia wrote me an encouragement and sweet emails. How God work wonders in life’s most unpredictable turn. How we’re apart thousand miles and I was rarely wrote them any personal mails. Mawar Sharon Christian School was the worth remembered one. First, it’s Jensen’s current school. It’s a school where love, hope and faith is around. Second, I met great persons that I really respect. I think that's a life does matter. It's amazing to know people with strong heart to give. People who can turn their problem and difficulties to be great moments and still can be such a blessing to their surrounding. What a real winner of life ^_^ It comes into my attention that strong faith is greatest treasure I can pass to my kids. I don't really expect a thank you from my kids for being their parent. What I do really hope is that one day, they will thank to God for every tiny blessings in their life. These old pictures remind me those sweet moments and fellowship I did with my brothers and sisters at MSCS. How we share silly dancing, singing and laughing with our blessed children. How a simple “Miss Ingrid, I love you” and great teddy bear hug could light up my day. A shy angelic smile, an innocent prayer, a heaven voice when all little hands was lift up to sing “We are the reason” and entertaining dance “Joy to the world” at Christmas. My dear children MSCS It’s not you that learned from me, yet me who learned from you. I learned not to take everything for granted. That life offers more than extrinsic values. My beautiful sisters at MSCS, wait for me to join your next fellowship. I know that your prayers always protect me since dawn till night. Keep having a pure heart to serve God and children sis. Miss you allGod bless you alwaysMiss Ingrid
Location: Mawar Sharon Christian School, member of Association of Christian Schools International

Class 2009 ladies nite - motherhood=baby+bingo+wine+pizza+FUN FEARLESS FEMALE

One good ladies nite, where we; ladies MBA class 2009 decided to throw a baby shower for Alle for her born-to-be baby girl, Isabella. I’m so glad that despite our study load, we always welcome extension of our classmates’ family member.

Unbelievably , this is a place when motherhood, mother sensibility, babies; all stuffs will freak guys out can merge beautifully with wine, pizza, humus, cheese and wokamule - good tasty mexican dip made by our pretty Tats (I hope I spell it rite). I, love-eating chocolate-addicted; of course welcome all snack time with open heart.

Alle, looks so beautiful as always. She’s bit self-conscious about 10 kg baby-fat (Alle, I got over 21 kg for both pregnancy and never came back to my size). Yet I believe, she won’t care when she looked at her baby born in the world. She would never forget their smell and teeth less smile (It’s the cutest smile you’ve ever seen). How you would be grateful that they can sleep like angel whilst you’re experience severe sleep deprivation.

That’s what always amazed me about motherhood. It changes our selfishness to be selfless. You will never have stronger love than that. How in the world you will do anything for your sake of your children. How their tears broke your heart more than your own sadness. There will be no second without you worrying about anything in regard of your family. It is incredible sensation how their words can melt your heart in amazing way (Mum, you’re kind. Mum, don’t cry. Mum, you look beautiful. Mum, I’ll be good boy. Mum, where are you). How you’ll feel that you’re prettiest woman if you pick them up at school and they will run to you with sparkling eyes. How you’ll feel needed when they are feeling sick (yep, children is always looking for their mother). I’m sure with 100% confidence level that Alle will be the best mum for her daughter and Daniel will be luckiest man in the world being loved abundantly by them.

Thank you for Susan who comes to join us. The only girls who couldn't make it is only Lindsey, Lee Sim and Charlyn (cutie girls where are you???)

Tat gave me wine, which always knocked me down no matter how little it is. I fell in love with Tat's place, reminding me with our apartment at Sydney. Hello hubby; I hope we can live there, with city views. It would be nice perfect place when I could stand in balcony, enjoying our meals under the star. The refreshing green bathroom is just like our bathroom back home.. The touchy part, when I was invited to Tats’ room to see her “Morris” (I gave Morris teddy bear on her bday so that she wouldn’t be that lonely when she’s juggling with Accounting “Mental Journey” and Manec. Morris could simply hug her over and over again). Now I know why she always looks pretty, she always gets good sleep J It’s also unofficial celebration for the building blocks of our WAM (Women and Management) club although we didn’t mention it at all J WAM can wait until final exam is over.

One notable coincidence, we just learnt about dummy variables in D&D today and there were couple of baby dummies there. But of course, that last one is lots cuter ^_^

Melbourne Business School - Classmates 2009

The MBS Bungee Jumping by classmates 2009


12th August 2007
It’s winter, cloudy weather and it’s raining when my former elementary classmate picked me up at the airport on 12th August 2007. Yep, it’s freezing out there and all of sudden I remember about first time I went to Sydney. Yesterday I was still in my cozy and warm house. Our house isn’t that luxury but it’s our sweet home. And now here I am at Melbourne. It’s Sunday, I went to Federation Square, Flinders Street Station, State Library, Yarra River… oh it’s beautiful although I prefer Darling Harbor Sydney. Yet I guessed it takes a while to love your city before you really love it and it just breaks your heart to leave it.

O-week and WOM
The journey has finally just started. I don’t know what to do yet my enthusiasm and curiosity will lead my instinct well. And when the O-week started, here I am as again the minority as the only mum among all of my 61 classmates for September intake, the women in my class was 21 persons (Melbourne Business School has 2 intakes / year). O-week just gave us insight about what’s going on at Melbourne Business School, getting know the faculty and staffs, and of course getting know our classmates. My classmates have awesome and diverse background. I think in term of quality, I was nothing to them. I’m just ordinary mum who always tried to give best example for her sons, to never give up on their dreams no matter what. And I have my own vision here. Yet bear in mind that I came not being the most brilliant / outstanding one but to learn. I just want to be better Ingrid. The O-week is including get to know our surrounding neighborhood by “Breaking Boundaries” activity at last day. We're going around city for 3 hours (walking!!!) to take pictures in 10 fabulous places (Citybath, Carlton Garden, Chinatown, ANZ gothics building, Arts Center, Sofitel, Bourke Street Mall, Southern Cross station, Grand Hotel and Rialto). My group came up with unique idea like climbing trees at Carlton garden. Honestly speaking, i was so freaked out. I was afraid of height. It made me to feel dizzy. Yet I’ve been encouraged by my “cool” classmate, Mike, who climbed the tree easily. As I trusted him, I even climbed higher.
Later on, in World of Management, 2 weeks intensive pre-term course followed by presentation, assignment and closed book exam (MBS really train us harder to be good leader by giving us pressures in our first days ^_^); The supplemental reading “How smart people to learn” and Stress Management are crucial to be learned and the understanding of mindset model and transition curve.

After 2 weeks of intensive course, we have celebration. We really enjoy the bonding that slowly formed within our girl classmates that I took our picture. Just bit encouragement what we’re doing and what we are going into. I imagine we are like Dumbledore’s army in Harry Potter movie, who overcome Voldermort’s evil spirit by our friendship, loyalty and sacrifice (that’s my favorite scene when Harry Potter realizes what makes him different than Voldermort).

Post WoM and surviving midterm and approaching final term

First lectures always bring some puzzle faces especially Managerial Economics and Accounting class. Yet we’re getting better. During midterm and assignments due, you will see chaotic and exhausted face. We’re just that tired. No more decent meal, but quick sandwich whilst discussing our syndicate project. No more dream to study beside swan pond of University of Melbourne. Don’t expect to study on green grass like when my husband was studying at UNSW.

More and more, I’m so much impressed by my classmates’ background. I develop mutual respect and understanding of them. Every person is fascinating and adds something to my learning curve. I think they are unique and we all simply deserve to have best 20 months learning experience. That’s what I love from this MBA program, despite my terrible homesickness being away from my family’s warmth, language problem and smallest standard deviation in term social life. Although I’m living in most livable city in the world, I hardly explore Melbourne (8th December is officially called our independence day when we survived final term). My days are pretty much around university of Melbourne, Lygon, CBD and nearby suburbs (although I did make to go to Tulip farm the other day and pretty much amazed by the breath-taking views and neighborhood along the journey). I have so many friends at Melbourne that I knew since I was at elementary, but I hardly meet them. I think 24 hours / day is just not enough.

I value my classmates’ uniqueness and all things that I can learn from them. Life is never ending learning process. I’m confident, that by our uniqueness and diverse background, each of us will give different impact although we may end up with same job and in same industry. And I’m not surprise that most of them will be notably leaders that I will recall “Gee, they are my classmates; we were juggling with Manec and Accounting together”. I will forever value our coffee-break and lunch sharing, our quick getaway to Corkman (I think whoever own that place is just genius, knowing we need quick refreshment place).

Although I myself am not impressed with my midterm result, I view midterm as chance to evaluate my understanding. And term 1 is just too early to judge who’s smartest. I worked at higher education industry; I knew how learning curve works. We will be surprised by “later” genius in next terms. It’s because first term is hardest in term settling-in process (for overseas students like me) and after years working; to adjust your life habit into studying routine isn’t that easy. You’re going to be like trial and error as if in Prolog programming, when every error will add to your learning database. You’re trying to find best way that works for you. We can even end up in deep frustration, because our past success. Everyone in the class is smart in their own way. In educational psychology, even multiple intelligence consists of 9 aspects (8 attributes and special intelligence). You cannot master in everything. So never look down to others. Furthermore, if you comeback to workforce, although high grade will secure you with good job, people still regard you pretty much on your personality.

Look at our pictures; in our unofficial classroom (CUB) who defines Melbourne’s weather in real meaning. I think our batch is doing well. Furthermore when we’re at utmost pressure when all assignments due; we’re still making effort to participate at International Food festival. Despite my tiredness and discouragement toward the event, in last moments my senior classmates from ASEAN club lend me hand (thanks to Kerri, Endi, Adele and Anson).

There are 6 teams from our batch (US, Rusia, Mexico, Peru, Indonesia and India). And I’m glad that India won the cup. We even drank beer from the cup afterward. Winning and losing is an outcome we cannot control. What we can control is our attitude toward other’s achievement and acknowledges it with sincerity. Furthermore, it’s the process to enhance our learning curve, personality growth and leadership capabilities and to shape our character. That’s the things you cannot learn in books, lectures or first rank B-School. And that reinforce my favorite quotations “The most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” (Helen Keller) and “We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love. (Mother Theresa)”. Both are outstanding women who give significant impact despite their difficult circumstances.

And that’s reason why I prefer MBS than other B-schools. We are smaller class that I expect I can have warmer and intimate classmates. It’s something that’s crucial for me who grew in small town, when everyone knows anyone. Everyone comes to MBA program with different background, culture, expectations and dreams. And I do hope, regardless how hard we cope in 1st term; we will get what we’re looking for and benefit for it. It’s simply because all of us deserve it.
In short, I’m looking forward to welcome my term breaks and looking forward for new experiences added to my learning curve including reinforcement of the importance of time management. My regret is my wasted time due to homesickness that produce nothing yet it’s integral part of my process.

Class 2009.. yeahhhhhhhh go for it !!! How time flies from our O-week days. I can’t wait you all at our graduation day, using our graduation clothes and cheer up whilst throwing our toga up in the sky and said “We did it” And yep, we will do it together in our own way and that’s again; the beauty of our program.

Wish you all the best with your syndicate assignments. Strive the best, but never lose the essence of yourself. Remember about sustained competitive advantage we learn at Managing People for High Performance for Human Capital Management “Valuable, unique and difficult to imitate” J

Under Lygon's street sky - my birthday dinner

Dedicated to my dear family : James, Jensen and Joel for giving me life

Yesterday was my birthday. First call ring at 12.01 sharp.. Guess who? My lifetime soulmate and best friend, my dear husband James. How I’m still amused that after 12 years together (from friendship until marriage) we still care each other that much. It’s common knowledge that after you have children, it’s hard to find time with your spouse. Romantic things suddenly went off and you forgot what makes you saying “I do” at first place. But James and I are always making effort to keep romance alive. We know each other too well to know what will make other party will be at utmost happiness.

The good thing by marrying your best friend, they know you so well that you don’t have to sweat small stuffs. I know how James wasn’t impressed with all those online social site such as friendster, multiply and of course facebook. His practical mind state, “why should put online things that you can do directly to the person? It’s impersonal”. He’s always this caring, sensitive, introvert and compassionate person. “Scientist” type of guy yet warm inside. Yet he signed up facebook for the sake of me. Cheers to James, who is in the distance, yet somehow always be there for me. Someone who always believes in me, see the good things in me, appreciate what I’ve done, and never break my heart. I’m officially never have broken heart. James is my first and last love. And that makes pursuing my higher degree harder. I have warm, intimate family and home sweet home I should leave behind under few circumstances I couldn’t control.

I thought this birthday will be such “lonely and sad times” when I will be immersing myself with those quantitative concepts (I couldn’t believe that I was teaching one of those subject 8 years ago), and crying under my blanket missing my family and friends. Furthermore, since Joel’s birth last year, I thought I would never have my birthday as Joel’s birthday was only 5 days after me and it’s just efficient way to celebrate his birthday than mine. I don’t mind at all. I’m a mum who would do anything for the sake of my family. There is no little part called Ingrid in me, but James, Jensen and Joel. It’s always about James, Jensen and Joel in every aspect in my life. And that’s the mystery of love I could never understand, how God can transform our selfishness to selfless love to our loved ones.

Then my birthday was followed by tons of calls and messages from my friends all around the world. Unfortunately I got full-day class on Thursday. It’s hardest day in my week with Financial Management first in the morning, and then followed by Managerial Economics (who tumble up all of my logical thinking) and Data & Decision.

I never realized how much I love my hubby until I was apart from him. He’s my first and last love so that’s it. There was little part questioning was I making right decision to marry him? But now, I know how I made best decision in my life.

MBA? I still no idea why I’m doing still trying to find my reasons. I’m always someone who believes that doing something in life, you have to do it from your heart, and as perfectionist and thinker; I don’t find any reason to do it. I’m losing my passion and always around by my warm and intimate family, it’s hard being alone here. My family always share and support, kiss and hug everywhere (if you’re alone, come to our home you will feel welcomed).

Yet miracle happens. My classmates really made my day. It started they brought me flower (it’s still nice till I write this). I was feeling special although I couldn’t entertain my friends’ intention to put flower on my table. I thought it’s going like “attention-seeker” act. I’m not that confident. I’m still that “small-town” girl who is willing to try something but still afraid doing it. Initially shy girl who wrote poetry in the top of her roof, who wanted badly being writer and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t go to literature and psychology major that she loved despite her family intention to take scholarship offered into computer science major.

We spent birthday dinner at Lygon street, my favorite street (because it’s the closest to my place). I’m so happy about birthday wish said by my friends especially part “May your family can go here asap and you can have your own daughter”. Yeah, I want a daughter. James will be so happy with the presence of daughter and so do I. We will be great parent. But of course it’s not now. Yet again, I’m looking forward for Joel’s first birthday on 9th October. Thank you again my friends especially Shilley and Smiley (and if you read this, you know which nicknames RU in). Now I see humanity in MBA ^_^

Seed of happiness - Tulip Farm Melbourne

My hubby think it’s useless thing to go to Tulip’s farm. He’s never been flowery person. Romantic man at heart but always thinks giving flower to girls is so wasted. Yet according to my MANECO lesson, my utility to go is very high -> AUD$1mio. So after counting my Willingness To Pay for my journey (my never ending assignments, reading and lesson that I should catch up), I decided to go after persistence offer from my friends. It’s cloudy, and we went so early in the morning, I reckon it wouldn’t that good. Surprising, it’s just one fine day. I found great deal of my seeds of happiness

The good thing is, I found that I am same Ingrid, simple girl who’s value simple things in life (fresh air, blossoming flowers, a cup of hot chocolate and tongue-melting dutch poffertjes).

The neighborhood was so awesome. I think I love Melbourne than Sydney even more. It reminded to the small town I grown up. The people are so friendly and nicer. The houses are lovely just like in HC Anderson’s or Enid Blyton’s house, the café are so homey. I cannot put into words the magic of beautiful view along the way. I’m falling in love with its neighborhood and it does recharge my energy in positive way. It’s so beautiful and breath-taking. How complicated I am. In one side, I love living in hi-tech building, yet love to have dinner with friends in floorboard, fireplace and flowery table cloth. I want my country home sweet home.

After 1 month juggling with my terrible homesickness, language and numbers and all of those strategic thinking (the more I think, I think my husband should be the one who takes this course instead of me as he’s the strategic thinker and “true scientist and brain” in our family).

Thanks God, I’m grateful to decide to go to Tulip farm. Strolling the tulip lines, I keep thinking my triple JE, wish them to be here with me. I wish that I could comeback in perfect sunny day wearing my favorite white dress. In short, I have big surplus ^_^ It’s nothing related with my dutch heritage. I simply appreciate life. I’m thankful for my loving ones. I’m thankful to meet my lifetime soul mate at first date, thankful to watch my sons’ teeth less smile, and thankful for being chocolate-addicted. Until now, I keep thinking (my old folks will poke me as they told to stop thinking!!!) why I could finish high literature novel or more than 10 literature movies in one day yet need to spend hours to understand 31 pages business case. Am I in the right course? What am I doing here? I’m nothing to have such MBA material?? Until calls from my sponsor keep me sober what I’m actually doing here. I have promise to fulfill.

It starts series of good events today despite the windy and cloudy weather. I went to church at city, and feeling that I didn’t sing so long. Daddy, wish you are here to play me guitar and I’m the singer (as always). The downside is only it’s muddy, and I have to wash my only running shoe :’(

(PS : Dad, don’t comment anything. You come here to Melbourne on December and I’ll show you the magic of Melbourne that will change your point of view. Yet if you think Sydney is still better, of course I’ll go with you).